And she's back

It's 7:55 a.m. on a Saturday and I'm awake already. I've finally decided to blog again as the diabetic hobbit. It's been a long time since my last post - 6 months and 2 days to be exact. I was going to post in October about the usual stuff, among others my quaterly progress, but something unexpected happened that made me postpone my blogging as a type 2 diabetic. Ironically, it should've given me more reason to blog, but instead I dallied. December and the long holiday in the Philippines came, and then I was back in the Netherlands dealing with medical appointments, still trying to find work and adjusting to my new state of life. You see, this diabetic hobbit was no more. I am now a pregnant diabetic hobbit.

Yep, I'm now two days short of 6 months, and I can now say, that everything's going fine. Well, so far so good, and I hope it stays that way.

I found out the last week of October 2009 that I was, indeed, pregnant. I couldn't really believe it - or maybe didn't want to believe it. We didn't even try that hard ;-p You see, the decision to have a kid was something I've averted for a long time. When I was 23, enjoying my career as a junior university faculty and development communications worker, and addicted to the wild rush of first love, I thought I was ready to start a family. Wanted to get married, have kids, all that stuff. Little did I know then that my first serious relationship was not the great love I was destined to have (that would come after another relationship and five years after). Serious Boyfriend #1 broke up with me, I shifted to print communications work, dived into another long-erm relationship, this time with Serious Boyfriend #2, immersed myself in the world of bands, music, art and the internet. My interests and priorities changed. I changed.

And then I met 'mijn grootste liefde' in the virtual world of MUDs (multi-user dungeon). It's now almost 10 years since we met and 8 years since we got married. But it was only in the last three years or so at age of 34 when I started to first hear the ticking of what I previously thought was a myth - my biological clock.

Thoughts of babies started to re-enter my conscousness. Among my cirlcle of friends, it was only me and my gay friends who didn't have kids. It was a hard decision to make, especially since my husband was content with not having kids. I never really came to a 100% decision about bringing a child into this world. Sure, we said we would try, and I started taking folic acid early on, but I never had that level of certainty unlike many of my friends. I never really badly wanted to have a baby. One day it would be 70% yes, 30% no; the next day 80% no. Sometimes, even 99% no. Even now while I'm carrying my two days shy of 6 months 'Ploopychu' (*smirk* this deserves another post ;-p ), I still don't feel certain about being a mother at all. I am now certain I love my Ploopy, but that doesn't take away the dread. In fact, the first emotion I felt when I saw the word 'Zwanger' (Dutch for 'pregnant') flash on that digital pregnancy test, was fear. I was a 100% terrified. A wave of uncertainty swept upon me and I was teary-eyed, but not from joy or excitment like in the movies. It was the unknowing. Suddenly, I found myself in a place that was not even unfamiliar. It was simply a place I never really could have imagined.

When I did manage to break the surface, the thought of being a pregnant diabetic hit me. Again, I didn't know what to expect. I knew it was going to be tough - 37 yrs. old, diabetic and pregnant - but how exactly? Well, that's why I'm blogging again. I'd like to share what I've learned and experienced (and stll discovering) about diabetes and pregnancy. From a type 2 who didn't need medication because I managed to bring down my blood glucose levels, I am now using insuline with meals and before going to sleep. Ah, but the things attached to that -- the diet changes, the even greater demans on my concentration and energy by food and its impact on my body and baby, the insuline misadventures, the now almost daily bouts with hypoglycemia, and forever worrying how it's all affecting Ploopy -- well, I thought it might be worthy of sharing all what I've learned.

In the meantime, I can feel the Ploopy thrashing about and reminding me to have breakfast. From 6 units of fast-working insuline for two pieces of bread (with plant sterols butter or egg salad) and a glass of milk, it's now up to 50 units for the same meal. The doctor did say to expect this. The important thing is to adjust the amount of insuline to the food I have to eat, rather than adjusting the amount of food to reach the ideal blood glucose level after eating -- which was what I was doing before I was on insuline, and even during the first few weeks on it. Need I spell it out clearly that it was the wrong approach? ;-)

So, docking for now to get some Brinta with hot no-sugar-added milk chocolate. Yep, I'm back.