Writing as a habit

Reminds me of what my literature professor told me years ago about creative writing which also applies to blogging. He said writing needs discipline, structure. You should make it a habit, not just an outcome of an inspiring moment. It's not just an end-product but a behaviour. He wakes up at 4 a.m. and just types away. Whatever story it is. That's been imbibed in his sytem and now just comes naturally.

in reference to:

"The first step is to decide to blog every single day and then do it."
- New Comm Biz » How to Blog. A Lot. (view on Google Sidewiki)

Exciting and weird at the same time

I'm testing SideWiki and it feels kinda strange. It's not a negative thing, just different. I mean the way I'm now browsing and interacting with the page. Not sure yet how it all works. Must read up on it more ;-)

in reference to: Timi will share… (view on Google Sidewiki)

Quarterly check-up results are in (plus what this hobbit's been doing the last 3 months)

Just got back from my quarterly check-up and the results are looking good. Still no need to go on medication. w00t!


Weight loss and the drop in glucose level aren't as 'impressive' as the last time, but I think that's ok. Still not the 50 kg from college when I was 19, but heh, who am I kidding ;-p. Glucose level hasn't gone down as much as I would've wanted but I sort of expected that given the changes in the last 3 months (updates below). However, it hasn't gone up either which is, as Borat would say "...a very good. I like.' ;-)

As for cholesterol, that's the great unknown as I didn't do an extensive blood test this time. I still have to bring down the level of bad carbs (LDL), and sometimes, I think I find this harder to do than restraining myself from that mushroom pizza. Eggs, for example, would be perfect for a low-carb diet but I also cannot eat a lot of them. What I do then, for example, is use 1.5 egg yolk and 3 egg whites for my lunch omelette. Or those deep-freeze chicken nuggets which may have lower calorie and carb count, but is actualy very high in fat. I have given in a few times, I must admit, as well as eating those New York Pizza chicken wings in the station whenever I felt hypo-glycemia attack on its way. The fat content makes me feel fuller faster (and longer), but yeah, I know it's not really the best choice. I've got a feeling that I didn't do very well with the cholesterol battle this quarter. Anyway, for the next check-up in November (which is the yearly check-up), I'll be having an extensive blood and urine test. The urin test is a first for me. Also, if I heard my nurse correctly, a foot test ;-p. Seems these are standard yearly tests for diabetics in Holland. Also the eye test which I had about 2 months ago. Results were fine, by the way. Anyway, must remember to pedicure and scrub before the foot test ;-p

Changes
I changed my diet a bit in the last 3 months: I started putting back more good carbs and every now and then, allowed myself delectable treats fit for a hobbit, like dinner or lunch with friends where I helped myself to some pasta and dessert. The nice thing with eating in restaurants is that the portions aren't huge -- or aren't hobbit portions anyway -- so there's no danger of over-eating. Besides, I try to compensate for that special event by being stricter with my diet a few days before and after. That always help with not feeling guilty or ruining the fun of those now rare but special times.

Since we're experiencing one of the best summers I've had in the Netherlands for the last 8 years, I've also been walking more. Whenever I go to Amsterdam to meet with friends I make sure I just walk to and from the station and just around the city. Again, another easy way to compensate for whatever extra nice treat I'd be having for lunch. However, I admit that physical exercise is the area I've invested the least in. I do the occasional cross-training, but only did that in July. Still not using my Wii Fit and in general, just staying home rooted in the sofa.

The most challenging change I've had to contend with though is unemployment. I've been laid off in late June and it has thrown me off balance. Less on the emotional side as I was thinking of exploring other opportunities anyway, but it has made quite an impact on my eating habbits and level of phyical movement.

Before my problem was being too obsessed with work that I barely' ate at the office (which led to hypo-glycemic attacks and binging at the end of the day). Since taking on the challenge in January, I've made very significant changes in my behaviour and habbits at work. I've been eating properly (breakfast, snacks and all), drinking lots of water and just going up and down the stairs a lot. SInce getting laid-off though, I've lost control of my eating habbits. The whole of July up to now has been spent without breakfast, having late lunches, and drinking less water. I start 'working' at 7 a.m., which means reading my feeds, taking note of articles I can use for my other blog (Timi will share...), commenting on tweets, Facebook statuses, articles or researching and writing blog articles. Might sound simple, but blogging and keeping yourself updated in the social media world is very time-consuming. The same is true for searching potential job opportunities, writing cover letters and updating resumes. Luckily, I've finished the bulk of work needed for that, but still, keeping myself busy with job-hunting and blog management does make time fly a lot faster. So fast I look at the clock and it's already 12 and getting that light-headed feeling already. I pick up my iphone and play a game or two, and then woosh -- it's 1 p.m. and still no breakfast or lunch. The ironic thing is that I'm 5 steps away from the fridge and the kitchen. But because I know they're just right there, I keep on putting off for later getting some yoghurt or making an omelette.

When I do go to Amsterdam for an interview or appointment with friends, I try to eat some yoghurt or those low-carbs, no sugar biscuits in the train. That helps in giving me energy in the morning until I can have some proper lunch. It's a shame Slim-Fast is no longer available in the Netherlands (I had to buy my supply in the Philippines whenever I am there on holiday). My supply already ran out so have to check those other alternatives the grocery store have.

Another thing I will miss are those 'Not Guilty' ice-cream (no sugar). They used to be available at Albert Heijn stores, but apparently now, not anymore. Aargh, I hate it that there are so few products for diabetics in this country. Sure, not every "for diabetics' product is good, but I want to have the option to decide that for myself. I wonder why it's not readily available here unlike in the States? I mean, I'd still buy a low-carb, no sugar muffin if anyone was selling it. Isn't the diabetic market here big enough? Or is it really a totally different approach of treating the sickness and its maintenance? In any case, I want the decision to be in my own hands.

Anyway, this ramble has gone long enough -- and I still need to eat breakfast! ;-) So it's still good news, but have to start adjusting to my new structure in life and take control again of my eating habbits. My goal for the next quarter is to go down to 60 kg and 6 mmol/l. Pretty ambitious, but will try to make it fun, if not bearable ;-).

Back to basics

It's been some time since my last post, and yesterday's incident told me why.

I had my worst hypoglycemic incident yesterday afternoon, my glucose level dropping to 2.4 mmol/L. Anything below 4 mmol/L indicates, in general, an approaching a state of hypoglycemia (if I got my literature right). Measurement can be different depending on various conditions. I usually hit 3.9 or 3.4 and when this happens, I already feel weak, dizzy and my hands would already start to shake. Hitting 2.4 was a totally different story.

Yesterday, I had my usual bowl of chocolate Brinta for brunch (round 12 noon). Woke up late so no breakfast, and would've had blueberries with Brinta instead had I not dropped the blueberries on the floor, crushing them. Anyway, so I feasted on Brinta and nothing else after. None of my usual yoghurt, tomatoes or nuts. I felt quite full so just went on ticking away on my laptop and surfing. Around 2 I already felt some mild hunger pangs but I dismissed it. By 3, I woud've gotten something, but became obsessed with reading some article and chatting with friends. Before I knew it it was almost 4 and I was really hungry and light-headed. SInce I was just sitting the whole time on the sofa, I didn't realise I was already very weak. Out of curiosity, I checked my glucose level, expecting it to be a 4 or 3.9. When I saw 2.4 on the screen, I was amazed at first (actually said 'Woh!'). Amazement turned to panick when I became aware of how light-headed I was and how weak I was feeling. I felt confused and my muscles were like jelly. It was already, what I call, the advanced 'Pacman' stage: I have to eat anything and everything to satiate the hunger and get energy quickly, but without any power pellets, I couldn't move fast enough. I felt the ghosts approaching quickly, intent on gobbling me up.

I rushed to the kitchen, confused, and thinking, 'what to eat, what to eat'. I opened the closet and saw Martin's Pringles. Not good but I took a handful and stuffed my face. I forgot I had some mango/pineapple juice and I could've drank that, but since I stopped drinking fruit juices except on rare ocassions, I forgot I actually had one in the fridge at that moment. I decided to eat some baked beans from the can. I thought, easy to chew and swallow and goes well with Wasa crackers. Before I could open the can though, I felt something like an out-of-body experience (not that I can compare it to anything before), but it felt like I was for a second, disembodied. I could sort of see myself and knew I was going to lose consciousness soon. Pure weirdness. So I abandoned the baked beans and ran to the bottom of the stairs and shouted to Martin to come down and help me. I didn't want to faint and only to be diovered by Martin when he came down to get his beer ;-p. But seriously, it's a first-aid step: to inform people around you that you're exprencing hypoglycemia.

So, he came down and I started rambling about how I was feeling and that my glucose level was really low and could he warm the beans a bit, etc. He reminded me to take some sugar -- again, I forgot another basic first-aid step. I took a sugar cube (brown sugar) and popped in my mouth. Took another one for good measure, I thought and was already munching on a Wasa cracker when I laid down on the sofa, waiting for my baked beans. I felt extremely hot and my skin was clammy even with the door and windows open. Martin had to get the fan and I seriously wanted to just undress and lie naked on the sofa, if not for the fact that the neigbours might see. Didn't want to shock anyone else though ;-p

I just ate the beans as quickly as I could (again not good) and after 10 minutes, I felt better. In retrospect, I could've eaten less and more slowly, but I was on 'survival' mode. Just did what felt good. I checked my glucose level and it was 5.4, which was both god and bad. Good, as that's a normal value, but bad coz from a low of 2.4, my glucose level spiked to 5.4 in less than 15 minutes. So imagine, if this happens regularly or multiple times during the day, then my overall glucose levels would display drops and spikes, which is exactly what every diabetic should prevent from happening.

Anyway, this incident and the others that marked the past few weeks are telling me that I've not been paying attention to myself. I've lost a bit of focus since May when I was able to lower my glucose and cholesterol levels enough to avoid medication. Since then I've become a bit lax. Combined with a more active social life (means more lunch, dinner, drinks dates), I also was eating more carbs than normal. Not necessarily bad when you're in maintenance mode, but I still wanted to lose a bit more weight. Mind you, a more active social life for me is still not as active as what you probably have. But I digress ;-p

I have to get back on track, start to get anal again with my diet and eating schedule. Have to replan and get on the programme again. Need a good plan for when I am home as time management can be a bit too flexible, and need to stick to tha plan. Also need to get serious again with my Wii Fit and take the clothes off that are now creatively concealing my cross-trainer ;-p. It's back to basic, folks. Let's see how it goes.

No meds for me!

It's been ages since I last posted. I was kinda stuck in a lot of other places and couldn't find myself anywhere near this blog. ;-S Bad diabetic hobbit, I know.

But I am back with good tidings: I won't be needing any medication for my diabetes and my cholesterol! double w00t!!! Last Monday (May 11) was D-DAY for me. That was when the doctor would decide if I my efforts in the last 2.5 months were not enough and thus would be needing medication. It turned out pretty well since I was able to bring my glucose level down from 8 to 6.3 mmol/l and my total cholesterol level from 7 to 6.3 ;-) My weight also dropped from 72 kg (when I came back from holiday in the Philippines) to 65 kg! Whee!!!

I'm extremely happy and relieved. It's good to have confirmation that I'm on the right path. It also proves (to some extent) that my diet experiments are on track. Hmm, maybe I should start publishing my own diet plans ;-p A bit too premature for that I guess. Let's see what the next 3 months will bring. Besides, if I cannot be more creative than my chocola Brinta concoction, then my diet plan wouldn't be so appealing to the rest of the world.

Talking about Brinta (it's a Dutch breakfast brand of oats and grains; very simlar to those quaker oats stuff), I think shifting to it from cereals was one of the best choices I made in my diet. I still eat those delicious Dorsett cereals (no-sugar) every now and then but have to make do with much smaller portions. Brinta still gets the best score in terms of keeping my glucose level no higher than 7 (after 2 hours of eating) even if I've eaten from a bigger bowl ;-p. With cereals, it would go up as high as 10. So I get to eat more Brintaand keep hunger at bay longer.

This is how a typical weekday meal plan looked like for me in the last month.

Breakfast
1 glass Slim-Fast (half-water, half-low-fat milk) - Lately, I've been having it warm and sometimes, I mix in a handful of Brinta
1 small cup of yoghurt (with plant sterol)

Snack
1 small apple
cherry tomatoes
cashew nuts (unsalted)

Lunch
Chocolate Brinta - I heat up chocolate milk (0% fat and sugar -- yes it exists! not sure if it's real choclate though, but it tastes like one!) and put in about 4-6 heaping tablespoons of brinta

Alternately, I would go for:
1 500 gms bowl of brocolli-courgette / pumpkin soup (+ hard-boiled egg sometimes)
OR
1 small bowl of baked beans + 2-3 whole wheat Wasa crackers

If I have lunch with colleagues, I end up either ordering omelette and soup or burgers ;-) I eat only half the bun, but still leaves me satisfied.

Snack
Cheese slices OR hard-boiled egg
2 biscuits
Nuts
Tea

Dinner
Brocolli-cauliflower mash
Burger / Fish / meat dish
Dessert (usually yoghurt or 1 sugar-free popsicle)
Tea (with milk)

Sometimes I even have about 150 grams pasta, e.g. raviolli plus a burger ;-)

In the weekend, I usually started eating at a later time so I'd have brunch instead while watching my fave tv series ;-p

Brunch:
Omelette (2-3 egg whites, 1-1.5 egg yolk) with cheese or tomatoes or tuna
Some beans OR for a special treat, 1 scone! ;-p
Coffee

Snack:
Apple
Cheese

Early dinner:
Brocolli-cauliflower mash (sometimes with beans or a bit of rice)
OR
String beans sauteed in onions, garlic and coconut milk

Grilled chicken / roast beef / meat stew / fish

Evening snack:
Cheese
Dessert
Tea, tea, tea

What I have been missing is really the cooking part. I think I will do more cooking in the next three months and even experiment with baking low-fat, no/low-sugar goodies. If only there could be a nano-cakes, pizza and pasta without carbs or starch ;-) I'm sure the technology is out there already! So, more variety with cooking and eating, plus MORE physical activities. The last months were spent really more on changing my eating habits. It took a lot of hard work and at times were emotionally and mentally taxing. But now, I think I can add the extra complexity of physical activity in this whole adventure. I'm sure it will do me good, as long as I can find the right balance. It has to work for me and I must like it if I am to really do it. Hopefully with good weather coming up, I can bike more and get to enjoy the outdoors more. Have to be a better buddy to my Wii Fit again and I really should stop using my cross-trainer as a clothes rack ;-p

Glucose levels in the last two weeks

I've been a lazy blogger hobbit the past week, so didn''t do any updates. However, I've been religiously tracking my glucose levels the last two weeks. Well, the first week was more like a 'while-stocks-last' kind of thing. I wanted to check my glucose levels before and after each meal. That was 6x a day, so six needles and six strips. With only a set of 17 per item the first week, I decided to just do blood tests before breakfast, around 3 p.m. and before dinner. I wisened up the next week after talking with my dietist and realising I wanted a more comprehensive picture of this whole thing.

The first week I was still going on my no-carbs diet, the second was when I started to incorporate some carbs again. I think the first week with the no-carbs diet was ok in general, although I don't have an idea how my glucose level was after eating. The times I was hypo-glycemic had less to do with the small intake of carbs, but more with no eating on time.

The second week saw me eating my fave high-fibre, no-sugar Dorset cereals (cruesli-type) in the mornings or lunch time. I think I ate it for breakfast on most days, and only had Slim-Fast as breakfast replacemnt later during the week (after my glucose level shot up to 10). Anyhow, I'm still struggling a bit as to how to integrate carbs in my diet and at the same time try to lose weight and keep the levels steady. I felt bloated during the whole week and sort of guilty for actually enjoying eating carbs again ;-p. I've learned though that what looked like a small, innocent looking bowl of cruesli -- even when high in fibre or without sugar -- can still increase my g-levels signficantly. I had what I thought was a small bowl of cruesli for lunch and two hours after, I hit the 10 mark. My dietician said that I should strive to maintain after-eating levels at max 7, so this was way off the mark. Although, I've seen on some UK books that says until 10 is ok. Whatever - I'll follow my dietician on this one, since I'm aiming to lose weight, too. Maybe he 10 mark being ok is more applicable in a weight maintenance system.

So, my main source of carbs the last were the cruesli. For lunch or dinner, I still stuck with veggies as my carb replacement. This week, I've replaced the cruesli with Brinta oatmeal. I think this is the better choice since I still get my carbs, but I can eat a bit more of it without having my glucose level spike up beyond 7. I'm being creative with it -- adding strawberry yoghurt to the milk to flavour it up, and lately, heating low-fat, no-sugar milk chocolate and ading the oats. I think that tastes so much better ;-)

Overall, I think the results are still better than what I expected them to be. Just have to avoid more the spikes and drops. The hardest thing to do is the balancing between losing weight and keeping levels steady. I really have to look out for the portions, and I find this really hard to do. I already have an idea what the 'right' portion is, but I still tend to put a bit more on my plate. It's like how the old hobbit adage goes: better to have more than less, lest you run out of it.

(Ok, suddenly sleepy at 10:30 p.m., so not checking all the blah I just wrote...)

Completing Week 11 and going for a low glycemic index/load diet

It's been one week since I started taking my glucose level and noting down my diet. I think overall it has been ok, but could definitely be better. Still need to have better control of my blood glucose level throughout the day and avoid situations that can trigger hypoglycemic attacks.

March 12 - Thurs
Breakfast: Slim Fast shake, yoghurt
Lunch: Had lunch with Agnes, so I ordered 1 medium bowl of fennel soup and a herb omelette. Unfortunately, the omelette was way too salty so I returned it (it was like ordering salt with some egg ;-p ). Didn't order a replacement, though so got hungry quickly in the afternoon.
Snack: nuts, tomatoes, low-carb biscuits
Dinner: mexican veggies and shrimps, yoghurt

Blood glucose level:
9:00 - 6.0
23:56 - 7.4

March 13 - Fri
Breakfast: Slim Fast, yoghurt
Snack: nuts, tomatoes
Lunch: pumpkin soup. It was already 15:30 when I had lunch, which I think was the reason why later I felt the shakes coming on. Round 18:00 I already felt light-headed and hungry and by the time I checked, my glucose level was going down. Since, I started to feel very light-headed and hungry, and felt my hands already shaking, I accepted the 'stroopwaffels' from my friend, Cherrie. I had 2 small ones and since these are waffels made from corn syrup (I think -- in any case, very sweet), I felt a bit better after eating them. Took a pack of my biscuits to eat in the train. I still felt bad during the train journey and even upon reaching home. Martin wasn't home so forced myself to cook a proper meal instead of gulping down whatever was in the fridge.
Dinner: cauliflower and shrimps with garlic and parlsey sauce, yoghurt

Blood glucose:
9:00 - 7.4
18:30 - 4.3


March 14 - Sat
I started incorporating some slow-releasing carbs this weekend after having that talk with my friend, Craig, who's a type 1. Gave me some really sound advice, which I intend to follow, starting with including some carbs with low-glycemic index. This was my plan anyway after this initial no-carbs diet of mine. It's been two days short of a month since I began my no-carbs diet, so I think it's time to shift things a bit and see how to go on a low-GI (glycemic index) diet / low GL (glycemic load), instead of totally cutting out carbs.

The up-side is I get to eat my cruesli again ;-) . The no-sugar, high-fibre type from Dorset ;-) I missed those! But it's not a liscence to start being comfy around pasta again. Although it's a complex carb, it still has a high-glycemic index. Of course, I can still eat it, but only a small portion to ensure that the glycemic load stays low.

What exactly is GI and GL? From http://www.mendosa.com/gilists.htm:

"The glycemic index (GI) is a numerical system of measuring how much of a rise in circulating blood sugar a carbohydrate triggers–the higher the number, the greater the blood sugar response. So a low GI food will cause a small rise, while a high GI food will trigger a dramatic spike...

The glycemic load (GL) is a relatively new way to assess the impact of carbohydrate consumption that takes the glycemic index into account, but gives a fuller picture than does glycemic index alone. A GI value tells you only how rapidly a particular carbohydrate turns into sugar. It doesn't tell you how much of that carbohydrate is in a serving of a particular food. You need to know both things to understand a food's effect on blood sugar. That is where glycemic load comes in. The carbohydrate in watermelon, for example, has a high GI. But there isn't a lot of it, so watermelon's glycemic load is relatively low. A GL of 20 or more is high, a GL of 11 to 19 inclusive is medium, and a GL of 10 or less is low."

So, in short, I should ideally eat low GI and low GL foods. I can eat more of a low GI - low GL food than a high GI - low GL food. The link posted above gives a much more detailed explanation of the difference between these two terms and a complete list of foods with GI and GL values.


Brunch: a bowl of Dorset cereals with lite yoghurt (still the one with plant sterol)
Snack: tuna omelette (1 yolk, 2 whites). I think I had another hypoglycemic attack, so I had to quicly make something. I didn't measure my glucose level coz I only had two more strips which I was saving for Sunday and Monday morning. But I'm quite convinced it was a hypo-g attack since the shaking, light-headedness, difficulty in concentrating were present.
Dinner: string beans sauteed in onion, garlic with a bit of shrimp paste and coconut milk, 100 grams of mashed cauliflower and brocolli, 2 spoons of brown rice, 3 small meatballs. Yummy!!!

Blood glucose:
12:05 - 5.8


March 15 - Sun
Brunch: Leftovers from diner - string beans sauteed in onion, garlic with a bit of shrimp paste and coconut milk, 100 grams of mashed cauliflower and brocolli, 2 spoons of brown rice
Snack: a few slice of cheese, cashew nuts, no-sugar iced tea
Diner: Dorset cereals with 0% fat strawberry kwark!!! Weird, I know, but I didn't want to cook. And I'm just craving for it, so why the hell not? ;-)

Blood glucose:
13:00 - 4.9

Gonna get new strips and needles tomorrow. That's the costly part. Will have to see if it can be covered by my insurance.

Wednesday menu/glucose level - 11 March

Wednesday, 11 Mar

Breakfast: Slim fast, 2 small yoghurt drinks
Snack: nuts / cherry tomatoes
Lunch: Shrimp salde with sweet chili sauce
Snack: nuts/ cherry tomatoes, 2 pieces high-fibre biscuits, 1 energy bar (no sugar! low-carbs)
Dinner: Left-overs from Tuesday:
Mashed mix of brocolli, cauliflower, kidney beans + 2 spoons of mexican rice (just for that added texture ;-p )
Roasted chicken thigh (without skin)
1 glass iced tea (no sugar)

Glucose level: Pretty good today (I think)
9 am - 5.3
20:40 - 5.5 (forgot to do it in the afternoon so took this one before dinner)
23:40 - 5

Menu journal - Tuesday 10 Mar.

(late) Breakfast:
Slim Fast chocolate shake (no milk) - (I was fasting until 10 a.m.)
lots and lots of H20

Lunch:
Waldorf salad without potatoes, had some apple slices with it
Small yoghrt
Water

Mid-afternoon:
Assorted nuts (unsalted)
2 high-fiber biscuits (no sugar added)
lots and lots of H20

Dinner:
Mashed mix of brocolli, cauliflower, kidney beans + 2 spoons of mexican rice (just for that added texture ;-p )
Roasted chicken thigh (without skin)
1 glass iced tea (no sugar)

Nightcap:
Small serving of coffee gelatin (without sugar) -- i just love coffee flavoured desserts!

Still playing with my Accu-check

Started doing blood tests yesterday and today and had some interesting results:

16:30 - 3.4 mmol/L: does this mean i was having a hypoglycemic attack? I was feeling very hungry, light-headed, was shaking and irritated.

After dinner round 21:00 - 6.3 - surprised that it's lower than 7!

23:30 - 5.4 - why did it decrease, i wonder...

10:00 - 6.4 - this is my fasting bloog glucose level, so I expected it to be lower. But it wasn't ;-(

16:00 - 5.4 - yey!

23:30 - 7.4 - ouch ;-( but this is not my fasting glucose level, though...

New gadget: blood glucose meter

So, here I am trying to type with a 'defective' middle finger, while fighting off that tired, sleepy feeling brought about by a hypoglycemic attack.

I'm exaggerating with the finger, of course. Just did my very first self-blood test -- well, with some help from Martin. Being the chicken that I am, I couldn't bring myself to press the lancing device. It didn't matter that the needle was so thin and my mind reasoned that such a thing couldn't hurt, but my head was still filled with the memory of the last time my uncle administered a blood test on me using a jurassic lancing device, so the pain was still fresh in mind. Seven minutes had already passed and one strip wasted, but I still couldn't bear the thought of that needle puncturing my skin. This is from the girl who had a gigantic needle stuck several times in her gums when her wisdom teeth had to be removed. What can I say, I'm scared of injections and airplane ride ;-p . As a young girl, I was totally fearless, though...come to think of it, I was so fearless, it was scary. I never cried, not even winced, when I had injections. Then growing-up happened and half of my mind started extrapolating situations arising from injections, while the other half tried to convince me that my deductive reasoning was defective.

But I digress. Today I decided to procure this Accu-Check Compact Plus device for measuring my blood glucose level. I've been wanting to get one for some time so I can monitor my progress: see how my diet is affecting my blood glucose levels and just learn more about how my body functions and reacts based on my food choices and eating behaviour. All the drama about the needle was for nothing, because it didn't hurt at all. I really like that needle! It did the work without the hurt ;-)

I must say, though, the product design is not that good, aside from the fact that it looked like a jurassic mobile phone. The interface is also not that easy to understand at the start, but I guess, it's not so much that, but the way the instruction manual was written / designed. It was a lot of blah and didn't realy give clear overviews. But I did like that the strips were made into a 'rolled tape'' so that I just put the whole thing in the gadget and it's dispensed automatically when I do a blood test. And of course, those teeny-weeny needles.

Anyway, the result was 3.4 mmol/l, which means I was experiencing hypoglycemia. I just had a light lunch (no breakfast coz I slept in late) -- a small bowl of soup and some cheese -- because I was planning to eat again after doing groceries. When I came back, I wanted to take a blood test before I ate anything so proceeded to fiddle around with the gadget. After a while, we realised that the needles weren't included in the package so Martin had to go back to the pharmacy. It took him a while to get back home, and I struggled a bit going through the manual so by the time I finally completed the test, I felt that I was about to get the 'shakes' (my term for when I experience hypoglycemic symptoms). I was hungry, felt the headache starting, and started to feel irritated.

It's quite useful for me to have felt these symptoms and see it translated in numbers. It gave me a better understanding of what exactly was happening to me. Later tonight, after dinner, I will do another blood test. Tomorrow morning, before I have breakfast (12 hours after I eat my last meal tonight), I'll also take another blood test. This way I have my baseline for hypoglycemic situations, after meals and fasting. I'm also thinking of getting the Accu-check software so that I can easily monitor all related statistics on my computer.

Ok, stopping now. Still feeling tired and I need to nibble again on something. ;-/

Thinking of meal plan

Yey, didn't give in to temptation yesterday ;-)
Not sure yet what to have for brunch...maybe last night's left-overs?
For dinner, it's roasted chicken with mexian rice for Martin and brocolli and cauliflower for me.

Still have to get groceries for the week and plan my meals. Thinkng of chili con carne but using 'Quorn' instead (meat substitue, mushroom-based - yum!). Martin likes that, too so I don't have to cook different meals. For lunch, will probably alternate between brocolli/pumpkin soup and shrimp salad with swet chili. Need to get nuts and cherry tomatoes to nibble on. And new batch of those yoghurt with plants sterol thingy ;-p

Will wait for the rain to stop though (if that ever happens).

One of those moments...

Almost 2 a.m. and starting to feel hungry. Not really hungry, it's more a psychological thing, I know. It's like, i'm not gonna think of strawberry shortcake -- and pwned! I just did. I want to go scan the fridge and the food closet until my brain picks something that would 'satisfy' the yearning. It's like trying to stop smoking, but I swear, stopping with smoking seemed a whole lot easier than preventing myself on nibbling on dinner left-overs or anything for that matter ;-p

Ok, will just go drink warm water and do the 10-minute rule. It's my way of dissolving the yearning. I put off whatever plans I have for raiding the fridge for another 10 minutes. Then I immerse mysef in some other activity, like blogging at 2 in the morning or trying to finish book 4 of Boudica ;-)

Cross your fingers. Let me conceive that image of strawberry shortcake without drooling. Be calm, oh tummy. Thou shall not binge.

Sunday meal

It's almost 12 noon and still haven't eaten anything yet. Well, I woke up just an hour ago, so I guess that's ok. One thing I'm beginning to learn about diabetes is that a regular eating schedule is a lot better than skipping meals, as the latter will mess up my insuline levels (or something like that ;-p ), and that it will actually help me in losing weight.

I've been on a no-carbs diet for 2 weeks now (ala-South beach) and for a bout 2 weeks before that, was already starting to cut down on my carbs intake. The ironic thing with me going on diet is that I actually eat regularly (5-6x), unlike when I'm not on a diet, I tend to not eat at all during the day. The last 2.5 years saw me being obssessed with finishing my work that I kept putting off eating (even peeing!) until it's almost the end of the day. I'm at work around 8 and aside from a coffee or juice in the morning and nibbling on cheese, I only got to eat around 4 or 5. And then it would be just cup-a-soup or a peanut butter sandwich. I rarely went out to get lunch. This bad habbit made me get hypoglycemia attacks and it also made me gain weight. Since my energy level went down consistently during the day, by the time I reached the station I'd feel the 'shakes' coming on (hypoglemic attack) so I often ended buying pizza slices or those fried snacks. Night time saw me feeling all tired and thinking I needed some sort of reward, so I tended to eat lots more than what I'd usually eat. Also, it was an important ritual for me to have a good dinner since it was the only meal during the week that I got to share with Martin, my husband.

Now I'm trying to turn things around. Have two objectives until May (which is when I'll be doing another blood test to determine if I go on medication or not): lower my glucose and cholesterol level, and try to lose weight responsibly while I'm at it ;-). Friends keep telling me it's not about losing weight per se, and I totally get that, but I just wanted to jump-start my system, so I decided to adapt South beach diet for the last 2 weeks. Meaning no bad carbs (bad carbs = good stuff like pizza, pasta, rice, bread, potatoes... sigh), loads of veggies and protein. I also make sure to eliminate fat in my dishes -- just the bad sort, though, so I'm ok to eat nuts and salmon and all those other sources of omega-3 fatty acids.

Ok, 'nuff said for now. Gotta go make breakfast, or brunch in this case. It's quite challenging to hold on to planning and making my meals. This last week wasn't planned well enough so the statisfaction level I got wasn't as high as the previous week. But I'll be getting groceries tomorrow, so will make sure I know what I'm gonna cook for this week to get all the right stuff and not end up with some boring meal at work.

Brunch for today would be: mushroom and tomato omelette (1 yolk + 3 whites), cottage cheese, yoghurt (with phytosterols) and some nice refreshing water. ;-)

Later in the afternoon, one Slim Fast shake. Forgot to get cherry tomatoes and nuts, my usual nibbles ;-(

For dinner: 'Bistek Tagalog' (Beef fillet and calf liver marinated in soy sauce and cooked with lots of onions) and sauteed beans. This would've been perfect with rice -- guaranteed to make you want to eat more rice actually, but I'm substituting rice with the stringbeans. That crunchy taste would do me good.

So why the 'diabetic hobbit'?

I keep telling everyone, whether they want to hear it or not, that J.R.R. Tolkien must've met Filipinos and eaten with them to have come up with the idea of hobbits. He must've experienced a 'Pinoy fiesta' and seen first-hand how we love to eat -- and talk about food while eating.

I really believe that we, Filipinos, are the original hobbits. ;-) Second breakfasts, or what Pinoys would probably consider as 'merienda' (in this case, a morning snack), sound perfectly logical to us. And by breakfast we usually mean fried rice, fried meat/sausage/fish and fried eggs. Of course, if by some great fortune that pancakes or bluberry muffins find their way to our table, we summon the fortitude to give them equal space in our bellies. It is this same fortitude that allows us to make the tough choice for 'merienda' between spaghetti, 'pansit' (Asian noodles), burger, rice cakes, porridge, lumpia, 'turon' (fried banana rolled in brown sugar and tucked in lumpia wrappers). Yes, sandwiches are also acceptable if none of the above can be obtained.

I won't even try to start with lunch, dinner and dessert -- too long for this post -- but I think you can already get the irony of the blog title. I come from a genuine line of Pinoy hobbits, a clan of great cooks and trully masterful eaters, who also happened to have diabetes run in their blood. We are genuine carb-lovers -- even fanatics, you could say -- so isn't it the greatest irony to be struck with a disease, the boundaries of which, are defined by the food you eat or not eat?

That was one of my first thoughts when my doctor confirmed end Janaury that I was diabetic. I thought it was like telling a hobbit to stay away from food. It's like telling Americans to disown burger and fries, or telling the Dutch to shy away from liquorice, or Mexicans to stop eating burritos. It was a contradiction in terms other than 'military intelligence', but more tragic I thought.

Ok, I know I'm exaggerating. ;-) I know better now after fanatically researching about diabetes that it's not a death sentence to eating, just to indiscriminate carbs-loading and binging. Uhealthy eating, thus. Still, the irony doesn't escape me. For one who loves to cook and is uber-crazy about rice, pasta and pizza, I now have to break this habbit; to unlearn my relationship with food and forge a new history with it. And it's all easier said than done. Especially when your mind thinks you're 19 and immortal, but your body's 36, enmeshed in mortality, and acts like a stranger.

A diabetic hobbit: I like it because it's ironic and also funny. It's a joke, but not a mean one. It allows me to make fun of myself. It's just a fact that underlies the conflict I'm experiencing, and my musings on what diabetic hobbits like myself would do to make their journey not only more bearable, but more pleasurable.

I don't know how to begin...

Honestly, I'm not reallly sure what this blog will become. I've been diagnosed with Diabetis Type 2 last month, and I just wanted to be able to express my feelings, questions and musings about it in a more tangible way. I'd like to chronicle my day-to-day experiences living with this new 'label' attached to me. It's all very new and I'm in the process of getting to know it better. And I do want to know it, because this one will be keeping me company for the rest of my life I guess. But although I want it to be a quiet companion, I want to be at peace in its presence. From hereon, I hope to chronicle the journeys of this diabetic hobbit.